Posts Tagged ‘ parenting ’

A New Blog for me

Since I stopped being on that TTC journey that this blog was all about, I have always kept my parenting journey on a separate blog, however I have recently felt the need to stop writing on the blog I created. It had become too personal and public, but I have started a new one. This one is more about the kiddies.

If you want to read it or follow their aventures, have a look at The Adventures of Bubbles and NutJob.

Enjoy!

His Heart – Poem

A man stands by the side of the road,
A stranger to the home behind.
He’s trying to hide, trying to blend in,
But he’s alone with cars and brick.
Occupied with his phone, he pretends and keeps his eyes down.
He fails.
She sees him and calls: “Daddy!”
His heart breaks at her smile, the joy in her eyes.
Through the pain and uncertainty she still loves him.
He’s encouraged to wave by the woman,
But she’s already there.
At four she can’t be stopped!

Then his eyes settle on the boy,
The boy he would do anything for, give anything for.
Yet the boy doesn’t see him.
His heart breaks.
It shouldn’t be this way. They should be his.
He loves them, he wants them,
All he wants is to protect them,
The boy’s eyes are guided and his chubby face lights up.
Does he know how much he’s loved?
Waving the boy stumbles with distraction and Daddy isn’t there to catch him.
Daddy isn’t allowed to catch him.
Mummy saw to that.
He wants to catch him, to hold him forever.

They pass him and he helplessly watches them pass,
His heart passes by.
This isn’t his fault.
He did nothing wrong.
He simply wants his children more than twice a month.
The car pulls up and in it he climbs, soon passing,
His children, the couple and his heart.
His girl sees him, she’s too clever for her own good.
His boy doesn’t, lost in a toddler’s mind.
His heart has gone for another fourteen sleepless.

© 9th July 2011

how? – Poem

How do you tell someone something they don’t want to hear?
Something they will hate you for but that they should fear?
Is it unsolicited advice? Sticking your rear end in?
Is it helping them in their time of need? Offering invaluable advice?
How do you calm someone’s anger by agreeing with their enemy?

How do you tell someone that they are in the wrong?
That no matter how much they think they’re perfect, they need to change?
Could it be a suggestion? To do more, alter their lives.
Could it be a hint? At others you’ve seen and the pain.
How do you try and be a friend when you can’t be honest?

How do you tell someone that it’s not just them suffering?
That their actions affect others and are bringing society down?
Should you lie to them? Tell them they’re perfect and it’s unfair?
Should you do the hard thing? And risk losing your friend?
How do you break someone’s heart without ever owning it?

How do you tell someone that the words are true?
Words that sting and say you’re a failure, but true to the core.
Would you verbally slap them? Or comfort them?
Would you shush and soothe them? Or dig the knife in further?
How do you say the words without blood splattering everywhere?

How do you tell someone that you agree wholeheartedly and are glad?
Glad that society has seen and can rescue them all.
Can society solve it alone? Without a whisper from your lips?
Can you escape with your friendship? And them all with respect?
How do you decide whether their lives are worth more than your friend?

How do you tell someone that you’d do things differently?
That you would pass their tests, ensuring society’s future.
Why can’t you tell her? Is it selfish? Self-righteousness?
Why should you speak up? Them. Simply them.
How do you put your trust in a system five years too late?

How do you tell someone the words which would destroy them?
The pain would never heal and they would be lost to you.
Who is more important? Them, you or both?
Whose heart would be lighter by sharing your burdens?
How do you crush them in agreement with a faceless desk?

How do you tell someone that you can make their worst fears reality?
That their imagination is nothing compared to reality?
Watching as their dreams deteriorate into waking nightmares,
As your sleep becomes peaceful now your heart is lighter.
How do you decide what is best for them when you only dream?

How do you tell someone that they don’t deserve to be a forest?
When you suffer in a dry, barren desert as they bask in life?
Is that the whole truth? Or do you want to help?
Is their suffering your salvation? Is it your retribution?
How do you explain that they’re ruining everything you crave?

How do you tell someone they’re selfish and self-obsessed?
How do you decide if you mean them or yourself?
How can you live with yourself telling her your truth?
How can you cope not sharing your truth with her?
How do you find the thin line on which a friend stands?

Author’s/Poet’s note: This is the rough draft, by that, I mean that it has not been subjected to line counting and other things I would do to a poem. It may be at some point. It may not be. I kind of like the roughness of it. It fits the topic as does the repetitiveness and sheer amount of questions! Also, the title is in lower case for a reason and is not a grammatical or spelling error by myself 🙂 And for anyone interested, I still haven’t decided what to say to my friend! Leaning towards saying nothing and just listening to her.

(c) February 1st 2011

 

Ending 2011 – Poem

Blonde or brown?
Tanned or fair skinned?
Covered in freckles or barely one?
Laidback and easy, silent to boot?
Or moody and bipolar, never ever mute?
Hyper and bubbly, climbing the walls,
Or sensible and older, assessing the falls?
Slightly self-centred and always in control,
Or deflecting with a humour that can only be droll?
Book smarts or common sense?
Chubby or slim?
What could it be: Her or Him?
Would it be as simple as one of the other,
Or a unique, fresh blending creating another?

© December 2011

As we end 2014, something I wrote three years ago when the dream of ever having a child seemed so far away. Who knew that 9 months after this was written, I would be taking a pregnancy test?

Who knew that three years after this was written I would be spending my Christmas and New Year with my toddler and a baby on the way?! I never thought I’d ever find out what our child would be like I describe in this poem. I truly never thought I’d get the chance to do it twice!