Posts Tagged ‘ facebook ’

Click, Quack, Beep – Poem

I got a new job /Click/
My Wife’s a Whore /Click/
I’m in love /Click/
Again /Click/
My Mother’s dead /Click/
I love this show /Quack/
I’m eating dinner, then bed /Quack/
How should I kill myself? /Quack/
LOL, quickly and quietly /Quack/
What are you doing? /Beep/
Where are you? /Beep/
Ditch her, chat with me /Beep/
Hello? Hello?
I’m alone.

© 23rd September 2011


Perils Of Facebook: Part Two

So, I’ve already said about how it frustrates me when people put certain child related statuses on facebook, namely ones where they look down upon other people — especially when it comes to them having children and my apparent inability to have them through no fault of my own.

I also hate when people announce things (and there’s no way I limit it to just pregnancy announcements). I’ve discovered that family members of friends have died through a status. I’ve learnt what happens every single second of someone’s life through statuses.

Even better, today I learnt that a friend was worried about another friend who had “vanished” and they were calling for help. Don’t be too shocked or concerned, before I read it there’d already been an update of having found them.

The thing is that it absolutely reeks of hypocrisy. I try to not get too personal or public on this blog when it comes to real life people. Friends and family, no matter how much you love them, annoy you and using any public forum is a recipe for disaster. I will, however, write poetry and then post it and I can only hope its’s vague enough that no one takes huge offence.

Today has been the final straw. And it has nothing to do with fertility problems or trying to conceive. It’s simply an inadequate friend. I could dwell on the fact that this friend failed to respond when I told them I was out of hospital. Isn’t that nice and caring? But the final straw came when, as I said, their status involved them worrying for another person after not hearing from them for a few days.

All I can say is, few days? I constantly spend a few days not hearing from the very same friend. She vanishes off the face of the planet for days, if not weeks. She bails at the last minute. She forgets to reply and then apologises about it. She constantly lets me down and always uses the same reasons which were possibly valid seven years ago. How dare she announce that she’s worried for someone when she’s put me in the exact same situation?

I’ve lost count of the amount of time I’ve worried about her because I haven’t heard from her and yet will see something random on facebook from her. And it isn’t because she gets busy and forgets. It’s because she vanishes, because she has a bad day/week/mood, because she gets down due to a medical condition, because she chooses to. I try my hardest to sympathise with her for her illness, but after seven plus years of her inability to listen to any doctor it becomes difficult for me.

What I do find hard is when her mood damages our friendship. Or when I come out of hospital and don’t hear a thing from her. Or when I spend days of my life worrying about her when she doesn’t have any regard for how it affects her friends despite others doing the same to her. Or perhaps her worrying over this friend will make her stop doing things that worry her own friends. Sadly after all these years, I don’t think she can change and become the friend I once had.

~ Persephone M

End of the Line?

I’m sorry that I’ve still been so absent on here; I want to say it’s because I’ve been too busy, that I’ve been too happy to find reasons to blog or that I’m not in the right (down) mood to write poetry.

It’s none of those things.

I can only describe it as I’m tired. I’m lazy. I’m lethargic. I’m fed up. And there doesn’t seem to be a thing that makes it any better.

I had to force myself to go out one night last week with my SLR, actually I did it two nights in a row. But, I’d have rather vegged on the sofa.

I’m constantly tired and have been sleeping far too much. I really wish that I could just stay in bed all day long, or maybe on the sofa with a duvet and my Tivo – Perhaps that’s where my problems all started.

There’s no real reason to any of it. I just can’t be bothered anymore. With anything. I haven’t updated my 365 blog in probably almost a week and even then it was a week’s catch up because I hadn’t been bothered. I’m only checking my emails because I’m a landlord and really can’t let that slide.

In fact, I only logged onto facebook this morning because last night I was doing my online banking (homepage = facebook) and had noticed a picture. I then had to show my boss this picture, but before I could get there I had the dreaded facebook announcement.

I’ve only had one before – a family member/in-law who I have only met once and then instantly deleted when they couldn’t even be bothered to reply to me. Today it was someone I guess I consider a friend. I barely see or speak to her, but the last time I did (some time last year) I told her about my fertility concerns. So whether I see her often or not, she knows about my problems and today, my top news story is that she’s expecting again. I guess it hurts extra because she knew/knows. It probably doesn’t help that I’m in this current funk. It all feels like the last straw and I have no idea what to do.

A friend broke the news to me the other week that someone I kind of know is pregnant, almost at the end of her pregnancy, but my friend hadn’t known how to tell me. I smiled and said I understood. I hurt a bit inside, but only a tiny bit and then it passed because a) I barely know the person anymore and b) I didn’t find out via a status.

How am I supposed to pick myself back up now?

~ Persephone M

The Perils of Facebook

I read a friend’s blog earlier about being on facebook and reading pregnancy annoucements and it got me to thinking about what I actually hate more.

Luckily, I think I only ever suffered one facebook announcement and it was from a step-in-law. I deleted them — take note anyone who’s on my list! My bigger problem with facebook is those that seem to think that they’re better or to just simply not think about other people.

I guess this is all being stirred up because tomorrow is Mothering Sunday and I’m awaiting all sorts of things on my facebook feed.

Ages ago, someone I consider a very good friend put one of those forward statement things in their status. You know, the “re-post if you agree” ones. And, I can’t remember the ins and outs, but it essentially said that she’d given up so much for her children because she wasn’t selfish. There was a line that said she’d traded her designer bag for nappy bags and washed, clean hair for dirty or something. It was all stuff that she’d traded for the sake of her children.

It was incredibly insensitive. I fully appreciate that there are women who decide to not have children. It doesn’t make them selfish, less self-less or wrong. It’s their choice and I’m sure they don’t look down upon mothers for the choices they made. So why should a mother look down upon a woman who chooses to not have children?

What about the women who desperately want children but can’t have them? So they still get to have designer bags and super-styled hair, when they would give up anything to have nappy bags, sleepless nights and vomit in their hair. Or they aren’t “lucky” enough to have designer bags because they’ve spent all their money on IVF?

Should a mother look down upon women like that? Should someone who’s chosen to not have children look down upon women that can’t?

I guess the question is: Should a person put that as their status when they’re the shoulder to cry on for someone who has fertility problems?

~ Persephone M