CD7: Lowering The Dose, And One Week To Go

Apologies for the delay in these posts. I’ve been without internet access for over a week, but will resume the posts now. Especially as I have a new computer at work which finally lets me back into this site! Thank you to all of you that have commented or are just simply reading this current journey! PMx

I had my second scan today, to check the follicle growth. The nurse seemed to point out five, some of which at about 10mm. She was so impressed with the size and number that she’s decreased my puregon dose to 25UI from 50. Hopefully this means only using one cartridge of it, saving myself over £90!

It was so odd because it’s the summer holidays here (at least at the point this is all really happening, not when I’m posting it), so during the day there are families and kids everywhere. I don’t normally notice, but because I’ve got these hospital appointments I was on a bus at lunchtime trekking all the way up to the hospital. And there were families everywhere.

Okay, actually there were loads of mothers with young kids or pregnant, perfect hair, long fake nails and surrounded my cigarette smoke. But the point is not that they might all be chavvy, no the point is that they’re everywhere. Now, I know that this is simply because it’s the school holidays (not just because they’re all unemployed), but I did sit on the bus on my way to the appointment constantly thinking “Why are they everywhere?”

I think part of it was I was quite paranoid that the drugs weren’t working. I’d had no real side effects, so why should they be working? But then the scan showed they are growing. Whether that calmed me or I just ignored everything after that, I don’t fully know, but I didn’t notice them. It was no where like my usual “hatred” of all people with children. Just a glitch. Although I would like to point out that I don’t actually hate people who have children.

It’s just how the jealousy and envy comes out. Isn’t that just a very female thing though? When a girl doesn’t understand something, or envies something/someone, the bitch comes out!

But I put my bitch away.

What did really surprise me was that the nurse gave me the print out of the ultrasound. Before coming clean and posting this I’ll try and get my scanner to work so I can show them. It’s like, if this works, I can tell a future child that the DNA they got from me was one of these and show them the pictures. Not many parents can do that, can they? It’s also good because hubby couldn’t come to all the scans (no real point) and he did remark that he wanted to watch the follicles grow. Soppy sod!

I have to admit (call me naive, stupid, whatever), I like the fact that I can chronicle every single day; that, if this works and I get pregnant, I’ll be able to chronicle every single step. Not many parents can say that. I do know that it’s a long way off yet. It’s a week until the “usual” ovulation day and then it would be two weeks until any test said it worked.

And even a positive pregnancy test doesn’t mark the happy ending. It’s only this very week that Gary Barlow and his wife suffered their unimaginable loss so, no, a positive test is not the “end”.

~ Persephone M

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  1. February 19th, 2013

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