Who cares for those in care?

I share my home with two foster children; I’ve mentioned them before. One has just turned 5 with the younger still being 3. In the past 16 months we’ve shared 3 of their birthdays, a Christmas and a birthday for each of the adults that live here. That’s a huge chunk of their lives especially given their young age.

The problem at the moment is quite simply that there is no communication to us at all. Recently they’ve been visiting their grandparents a lot more without having anything explained to them. We’re only allowed to tell them what the social worker says we can. Same for their parents and grandparents. Except the social worker hasn’t spoken to us in over a month.

So these two young children have gone from seeing various family members on a weekly basis in a contact centre to now seeing one set of family more frequently, in Mcdonalds and in their home. But no one has deemed them important enough to explain this to them.

They have no idea what’s going on. Their routine is broken. They play up constantly. Silly little naughty traits that we’d got them out of have all come back. They don’t go to bed on time. They have nightmares. They won’t share their toys at school. They cry for no reason. The older one stomps around like a hormonal teenager. And they’ve both become far clingier than they have ever been.

Yet there’s nothing we can say to them. We can’t explain why they’re seeing Nanny every other day but not mummy. We can’t tell them they’re being prepared to go live with Nanny. We can’t explain that they’ll likely never go home to mummy.

Yet we have to deal with their change in behaviour, knowing that it isn’t their fault. Imagine, as an adult, suddenly having a routine change and seeing an adult more than you had done with no explanation. I’m not sure I can understand it all emotionally so how the hell are two children?

And how am I supposed to sit by? Until we hear what is definitely happening and are told officially what’s happening, why and what we need to tell them, we can’t tell them a damn thing. Our hands are tied as they play up naughtily in utter confusion.

Why do none of the social workers care enough about these two children to stop this?

~Persephone M

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