Perils Of Facebook: Part Two

So, I’ve already said about how it frustrates me when people put certain child related statuses on facebook, namely ones where they look down upon other people — especially when it comes to them having children and my apparent inability to have them through no fault of my own.

I also hate when people announce things (and there’s no way I limit it to just pregnancy announcements). I’ve discovered that family members of friends have died through a status. I’ve learnt what happens every single second of someone’s life through statuses.

Even better, today I learnt that a friend was worried about another friend who had “vanished” and they were calling for help. Don’t be too shocked or concerned, before I read it there’d already been an update of having found them.

The thing is that it absolutely reeks of hypocrisy. I try to not get too personal or public on this blog when it comes to real life people. Friends and family, no matter how much you love them, annoy you and using any public forum is a recipe for disaster. I will, however, write poetry and then post it and I can only hope its’s vague enough that no one takes huge offence.

Today has been the final straw. And it has nothing to do with fertility problems or trying to conceive. It’s simply an inadequate friend. I could dwell on the fact that this friend failed to respond when I told them I was out of hospital. Isn’t that nice and caring? But the final straw came when, as I said, their status involved them worrying for another person after not hearing from them for a few days.

All I can say is, few days? I constantly spend a few days not hearing from the very same friend. She vanishes off the face of the planet for days, if not weeks. She bails at the last minute. She forgets to reply and then apologises about it. She constantly lets me down and always uses the same reasons which were possibly valid seven years ago. How dare she announce that she’s worried for someone when she’s put me in the exact same situation?

I’ve lost count of the amount of time I’ve worried about her because I haven’t heard from her and yet will see something random on facebook from her. And it isn’t because she gets busy and forgets. It’s because she vanishes, because she has a bad day/week/mood, because she gets down due to a medical condition, because she chooses to. I try my hardest to sympathise with her for her illness, but after seven plus years of her inability to listen to any doctor it becomes difficult for me.

What I do find hard is when her mood damages our friendship. Or when I come out of hospital and don’t hear a thing from her. Or when I spend days of my life worrying about her when she doesn’t have any regard for how it affects her friends despite others doing the same to her. Or perhaps her worrying over this friend will make her stop doing things that worry her own friends. Sadly after all these years, I don’t think she can change and become the friend I once had.

~ Persephone M

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  1. Sorry about your friend woes. I think FB has trivialized important moments and magnified meaningless ones.

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