End of the Line?

I’m sorry that I’ve still been so absent on here; I want to say it’s because I’ve been too busy, that I’ve been too happy to find reasons to blog or that I’m not in the right (down) mood to write poetry.

It’s none of those things.

I can only describe it as I’m tired. I’m lazy. I’m lethargic. I’m fed up. And there doesn’t seem to be a thing that makes it any better.

I had to force myself to go out one night last week with my SLR, actually I did it two nights in a row. But, I’d have rather vegged on the sofa.

I’m constantly tired and have been sleeping far too much. I really wish that I could just stay in bed all day long, or maybe on the sofa with a duvet and my Tivo – Perhaps that’s where my problems all started.

There’s no real reason to any of it. I just can’t be bothered anymore. With anything. I haven’t updated my 365 blog in probably almost a week and even then it was a week’s catch up because I hadn’t been bothered. I’m only checking my emails because I’m a landlord and really can’t let that slide.

In fact, I only logged onto facebook this morning because last night I was doing my online banking (homepage = facebook) and had noticed a picture. I then had to show my boss this picture, but before I could get there I had the dreaded facebook announcement.

I’ve only had one before – a family member/in-law who I have only met once and then instantly deleted when they couldn’t even be bothered to reply to me. Today it was someone I guess I consider a friend. I barely see or speak to her, but the last time I did (some time last year) I told her about my fertility concerns. So whether I see her often or not, she knows about my problems and today, my top news story is that she’s expecting again. I guess it hurts extra because she knew/knows. It probably doesn’t help that I’m in this current funk. It all feels like the last straw and I have no idea what to do.

A friend broke the news to me the other week that someone I kind of know is pregnant, almost at the end of her pregnancy, but my friend hadn’t known how to tell me. I smiled and said I understood. I hurt a bit inside, but only a tiny bit and then it passed because a) I barely know the person anymore and b) I didn’t find out via a status.

How am I supposed to pick myself back up now?

~ Persephone M

  1. It’s funny how pregnancy annoucements are always our top stories on FB. It’s like FB knows how to really stick us. Sorry about your funk. I can relate. I’ve gone through periods where all I want to do is sleep.

    • I’m considering removing FB as homepage and creating a new blog for friend and family photos (only reason I really use FB). I think I’m just having a down month, but am feeling a bit better. Almost a new month… 🙂

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