Why I’m In Pain

I got thinking the other day as to what exactly laparoscopy means. I assumed scopy to be look, but could not figure out the laparo part.

So I googled. Well, I wiki’d and, to quote: “from Greek lapara, “flank or loin”, and skopein, “to see, view or examine”“. I just thought that was interesting, is all!

I had a diagnostic laparoscopy to see if there were any problems within me that could be preventing me from becoming pregnant. I’ve already had an x-ray with dye to check my fallopian tubes (HSG) and the laparoscopy is the final test. I passed.

Finally, I passed at something seeing as I fail to conceive every single freaking month. Woo! But then it occured to me that, to some people, they might not understand why I went for the tests at all.

And it’s possibly those that know me in real life. I’m not yet 30, but I will be by the end of the year and the fertility rates for those in their 20s is 20-25% per month; in the early thirties it drops to 15%. I know that magically, the morning I wake up aged 30, my body will not be suddenly different, but that doesn’t change the fact that I am getting older (yes, I know that everyone is).

A lot of people don’t realise that I’ve been trying for two and a half years. When I say *I*, I mean *we* and include my husband, it’s just me writing this, not *us*.

I can’t remember the stats that my doctor has given me time and time again, but I did find some online which look roughly the same. As you can see from the two percentage rates above (20-25 and 15), the actual chances of becoming pregnant each month are relatively low. Even in the prime age of the twenties, there’s a 1 in 4 or 1 in 5 chance each month. That isn’t that much, really. By the early 30s it drops and it drops another 5% for the late 30s (along with added complications, too).

There’s some more maths for you now: on average (such a lovely word), after a full 12 months, 14% of couples have not conceived. After 24 months, 4.3% of couples have not conceived and, after 36 months, 1.9%. I’m currently in the 4.3% and am hoping in the six months left to make me a 36er, I won’t be that 1.9%.

I guess that I have the worry at the moment that, because I’ve gone fully public with my problems, my hopes, the failings, that some people think I’m jumping the gun. Perhaps some people think that I’ve had these diagnostic tests to simply check myself out before truly trying. Or that after a few months, I got impatient and decided to force things. Or that I got tired of watching everyone else around me having children and just wanted to join the club. Or that I’m a worrier (which I am), and subjected myself to these tests to put my mind at ease.

It was for none of these, it was because my husband and I are 4.3% of couples. Take one hundred couples and put five into a corner – that’s us. In six months I/we could be less than 2. After 4 years, it’s 1% haven’t conceived. After 5, it’s 0.6%. And in two and a half years I’ll be on the path to the over 35’s along with being just 0.6% of couples trying.

I subjected myself to hormone tests, an x-ray, ultrasound and invasive anaesthatised surgery to find out if there’s a reason I’m in the 4.3%. Good news that I’m not, but it doesn’t change the fact that we as a couple could simply have unexplained infertility (15-20% infertile couples are unexplained). I walked into a surgical room feeling so alone and scared, hungry and tired, simply wanting to cry and have my husband still next to me because if we are truly in the 4.3% or the 1.9%, assisted pregnancies are the only way it will ever happen. And there’s no point in paying a huge sum of money for a procedure to conceive if there’s a problem that would render it pointless.

It’s generally accepted that 10% of the population is left-handed. How many left handed people do you know? Cut that in half, or by a factor of 10.

~ Persephone M

Sites used:

  1. I’ve had both of these procedures for illness reasons, rather than pregnancy-check, and know it’s no fun — the dye test was terrible for me. Good job hanging in there. Just an unsolicited piece of info… You may want to just hang back now, and minimize the amount of medical intervention you have. Each procedure can lead to something called pelvic adhesions or scar tissue (what I’m dealing with), as internal bleeding inevitably occurs, and this can cause further complications. It’s great that nothing has shown up for you; VERY good sign. I have great confidence that, when the time it right, you’ll have the children you want. Best of luck.

    • Thank you for sharing 🙂 I did a bit of research after writing the post and read that there is a thought that, depending on age, treatment shouldn’t be used for unexplained. I think I read that on average even unexplained manage to conceive within 6 or 7 years. If those years start early enough. Maybe it’s the laparoscopy speaking but treatment (read: hospitals) doesn’t seem as easy to agree to as it did. Being alone in that hospital petrified me. Stay well, Px

  1. February 19th, 2013

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