Blood and Water

Blood is thicker than water, so the saying goes, but then there’s also those that say you can’t choose your family and that friends are the family that you choose to be there. I don’t know who says these things, but someone special out there did at some point in their lives.

I had a friend request today on a certain social site from someone who, perhaps legally, is my family. By a marriage or two, but on a family tree they would be on there, so should I accept them?

Thing is, almost two years ago I deleted a whole load of “family”. My problem with technology and all of these social sites is that you learn too much about people, either because they rabbit on too much or by revealing something that makes you start to think. There are people that I’ve blocked from my feed for their constant, kinda weird status updates, but I’ve never deleted anyone for that.

It’s their choice to tell me every single little detail of their life and it’s my choice to not see it, or the risque photos from my younger relatives. That applies to friends and family. Just as it’s their choice to read my inner most feelings and thoughts on here.

Deletion is a bit more extreme than that though and almost two years ago I set out on a mission to communicate more with people, which is a subject I’ve been thinking about a lot recently, and reached out to a load of people with messages in an attempt to utilise today’s technology. After a few weeks, I checked those from whom I had no reply to see if they had been online. The ones that had been without bothering to respond got deleted.

Harsh? It’s called a friends list and if you can’t say hello back to me then how can you be a friend?

Three of the deleted happened to, officially, be family and now one of them has added me again. Does it matter if someone’s classed as family, does that mean you have to keep them in your list? It comes down to more than just some list on an internet site that may or may not reach a popularity expiry date, no it comes down to a lot more than that.

It comes down to whether or not I class them as family. For the record, there is no blood linking me to those deleted. We’re related by two marriages so there is not even a bit of blood. The fact that it took one of the three this long to realise that they were no longer my friend reaks of how little I concern them and how I couldn’t really care less. I’ve always ascribed to the making your own family train of thought.

Although I’d never delete someone with whom I actually share blood.

Is this how much power modern technology holds over people, that popularity is measured and monitored? Isn’t technology supposed to bring people closer, allowing family and friends who live across the country from each other better access and ability to communicate rather than show people that family don’t care? Does this person who’s just realised they’re not my friend only want me as a friend again because they feel they should, or to make the numbers up on their lists because there are plenty of other ways to actually be my friend? As the status of a friend said yesterday – “friends are in life not just on fakebook.” I hope she doesn’t mind me quoting her!

It would be different if they were my true family, but I’m far happier with the family I have and the friends I allow to enter it. I’m proud of my short friends list and appreciate the fact that through poetry and blogs, I share more than simple, short statuses do.

Now, back to utilising technology,


~ PersephoneM

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