For nineteen years, I watched you living.
For all those years, you were by my side,
Words of encouragement, words of love.
You were always there, you always cared,
You believed in me, you were my world,
You were part of me, you always will.
Despite your lies, despite my mistrust,
I loved you so much, with everything.
Though I was hassle, though I was trouble,
You were always there, you always loved me.

For eighteen months, I watched you dying.
I looked on as you made us all suffer,
World full of pain, world full of misery.
You sent us to Hell, you never brought us back,
You grew weaker, I had to grow stronger,
I never broke down, never shed a tear.
I was strong for others, had to be for you,
I turned to no one, I suffered alone.
Though you caused me pain, though I hated you so,
I still loved you with everything, loved you so much.

For sixty seconds, I watched you die.
I checked for you breathing, felt for a pulse,
I felt you slipping, you waited for me.
I walked into the room, sat beside you,
Somehow you knew, you gave up and left me,
I was clinical, released no emotions.
I felt your body losing its warmth, losing you,
I stayed by your side, willing you back to me.
Though I wished, though I begged, I didn’t cry.
You didn’t return and I still hurt,
I wish you could take away my pain.

This is a poem that I found the other night whilst searching for an old story to continue writing. I decided to share it with others. It has an obvious dedication; to my father – the man who loved me unconditionally and shaped my future, in less than twenty years, for all time. If you have any feedback, please email me, but don’t be harsh!

© PersephoneM

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